Thursday, December 16, 2010

12 days of Awesome!

Captains Log: 12/16/2010,

It's a balmy 48 degrees up in this business today. By "this business" I mean the house.

Fire time.. booyah!

I will now boil tea atop the wood stove. After chopping the wood, to make the fire to boil the tea, the feeling of drinking that tea I boiled with my own competence will be tremendous. Not only that but I  will pour my tea into an empty bourbon bottle which gives me all the guilty pleasure of feeling like an alcoholic without the severe entropic side affects.

Now lets get down to business!

So this wonderful literary agent Kathleen Ortiz of the famed Never Ending Page Turner blog and Neo Agent Podcast is having the big bang of all blog contests. A contest of such epic proportions it incited me to get a twitter account.

Now this bloomin onion of all blog contests is not just a single serving of magnificence! Good lord no, that would be paltry and feeble! It is a raging 12 day event of glorious Christmas spirit. Today is the eighth day of awesome so if my maths is correct we done got FO MO days of solid Christmas joy to look forward to!
(Read the following in a Mayor Quimby from the Simpsons voice) So get out there and enter that contest!

Not only that but I have a partial out with Kathleen and I would be extremely giddy to win any sort of face time with Kathleen.

I do believe I hear the tea boiling so I will now go suckle from the teat of my competence.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Today is Gunna Be a Dope Ass Day

We as people, have created language, honed it, built upon it, and rely on it for our existence.
There is no other method of communication that we have.

But today, I see a certain amount of de-evolution in our language, spitting from our mouths and tripping from our fingers. Individual words and monosyllabic expulsions used to describe entire sequences of actions and events.

Fail

Awkward

These are the for runners in the degradation of language and communication.
Why even speak if you're not going to string together a series of descriptive words to form a sentence in order to adequately express your opinion of a situation or occurrence. In my opinion blunt single word, popular catch phrases deter thought and open the door to ignorance. It cripples conversation and permits all those who use them to hide behind blanket statements. It's inarticulate and tantamount to hitting to express emotion and opinion.

This is what happens to my friends when they use these words. They get hit with punches.

If your going to cavemanicaly grunt an opinion without further explanation or any indication of intellectuality for this opinion you're going to get struck with fists.....one to several times. Because if we're going to tear down the keystone cognitive communication that's supported thousands of years of intellectual progression, the once cumulative reason for our entire existence, the reason we call ourselves humans, I want to get some exercise while doing it.